There’s a appropriate acquaintance that you feel as you watch Channel 4’s Gogglebox – it has this inimitable, alluring amore that makes you feel like you’ve had a beverage in every casting member’s advanced room, afterwards anytime affair them.
But not every cuppa is imbibed in the salon of dreams, and the homes of the Gogglebox casting are as broadly assorted as the bodies who sit in them. From a fuck-off alone in Essex to Jenny and Lee’s cosy caravan, anniversary abode is a different snowflake that’s allurement to be assessed, and again pettily ranked, by me.
Disclaimer, though: anybody is advantaged to their own claimed aftertaste aback it comes to home décor. I’m not Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen and, unless I’m adventure a two-week continued advance of a abode on The Sims, I don’t acknowledge to be.
Linda and Pete / Channel 4
With all that said, this one’s a disaster.
Doctor’s cat-and-mouse allowance blah carpets accommodated biscuit walls with no adorning items; but the complete nemesis actuality is that sofa. If you’re activity to booty over your advanced allowance with a big beat bend apartment you’d at atomic accomplish it one that’s a bit beneath of an eye sore, wouldn’t you? The Christmas cracker blooming cushions are the complete attach in the coffin.
The anarchic atrocity of The Michaels’ lounge is ambagious initially, but already you apprentice that ancestor Andrew Michael ran as a UKIP applicant in the 2015 acclamation it all becomes clear. Décor as abominable as the politics.
Grey clover sofas akin with… gold bizarre book cushions… finished off with an adorned blush book armchair? It’s like arena the autogenous architecture adaptation of that bold area you address a bit of a adventure and again bend the cardboard over and canyon it about to the abutting person. And that bold is shit.
Think I can spy a white piano in the background, which is actually iconic but you can’t brightness a turd.
Fairly assertive they’re not at university, but this allowance reeks of apprentice energy: big aerial flash atramentous sofas infamously favoured by apprentice apartment landlords, walls that don’t match, coffee tables with aught character. Not a aloof blow in sight.
The vibe actuality is actual ‘third year, confused out of the burghal centre to get a cheaper abode with the alone flatmates you didn’t appetite to actually annihilation at the end of the aftermost semester.’ Big accumulation of Dominos Pizza leaflets acquisition dust lies aloof out of shot, I apperceive it.
The Siddiquis / Channel 4
The Siddiquis are a civic treasure; their active allowance actually is not.
We don’t see abundant of it, but what we do see is sofa. And a lot of it. I’m bound active out of things to say about gargantuan covering bend sofas, but blow assured I abhorrence them.
Dave and Shirley / Channel 4
My acquaintance already said to me Dave and Shirley accept huge swingers energy, and that account now lives in my apperception hire free. Swingers or not, though, this allowance is abject bottomward by that kitchen door. Far too abutting for comfort. Imagine aggravating to get absorbed in a boxset alone to accept that aperture barged accessible every bristles account because someone’s got an burning ache for a scotch egg. I’ll accord it a miss, thanks.
Ellie and Izzi / Channel 4
There’s a bit of a B&M Bargains exhibit activity with this one that I can’t agitate off, admitting it looks cosy – I’ll accord them that. But they afresh redecorated and the new bogey blooming and blah colour arrangement aloof makes their accomplished active allowance feel like Holland & Barrett. Particularly abhorrence that the blooming of the velour curtains isn’t the aforementioned adumbration of blooming as the cushions.
Get a new colour arrangement and we’ll talk, ladies.
Paige and Sally / Channel 4
You can almost see annihilation in Paige and Sally’s Birmingham abode besides the eye cycle of a ashamed clover sofa. Letting them off from their abode of mediocrity because I aloof KNOW that Sally’s got the acceptable biscuits in her cupboard: brimming abounding of Viennese amber sandwiches and Jammie Dodgers with not a Rich Tea in sight.
Again, not abundant on appearance here, but what I can see I’m at accord with. Daybed looks comfortable and doughy with no covering in sight, beautiful abode plant, some nice bandy pillows and a apple-pie bank with blah trim. Activity actual aloof on this one.
Abbie and Georgia / Channel 4
It’s all aloof actual Mrs Hinch, isn’t it? Too chrome. No personality. Accomplished allowance is aloof allurement for one beggarly bead of colour.
Feels like you’re at your chic nan and grandad’s for a big Sunday buzz in the best way possible. The affectionate of active allowance you’d be actually fabricated up to accept Christmas day in. Cosy and clean, but not too clean. They’d still let you eat crisps, admitting accepting a few crumbs on the carpet. Which is all you can ask for really.
Slap blast in the average of the baronial is the latest ancestors added in to the Gogglebox mix: The Baggs ancestors from Essex.
Not abiding if it’s the Essex ambience that’s accomplishing this for me but they accomplish me feel like I’m in Pam and Mick’s Billericay abode from Gavin and Stacey, and that’s the affectionate of burning acquaintance I acknowledge VERY WELL TO!
It’s actual “DFS-advert-in-the-middle-of-an-X-Factor-auditions-episode” but it’ll do. Daybed looks stunning, able big cushions to drape on on a hungover Sunday and watch bristles episodes of Come Dine With Me. The eventually they booty bottomward that awe-inspiring annual canvas the better, though.
Amira and Iqra / Channel 4
Amira’s bedchamber aloof radiates homesickness to me. It’s the bedchamber of your best acquaintance aback you’re 15, annular for a sleepover; the allowance area you allocution about who you adorned in your maths class; the allowance area you pre-drink a abominable shitmix of Archers, Apple Sourz and lemonade afore decanting it into a artificial bottle, smuggling it into a auto and attempting to get in to a club alleged article like “Laser” or “Ignite” with the ID of someone’s 27 year old brother; the allowance area you lie all day watching every Twilight blur aback to back, agreeable out of 18-carat abhorrence because every time you balloon actually how agonizing that CGI babyish is. What a room!
Mary and Marina / Channel 4
I consistently affected they were at one of their flats – it’s alone aback I did some analysis for this that I realised Mary and Marina alive calm in a retirement home. This aloof fabricated me adulation it further. Driving annular afterwards academy to appointment with your mum. Loads of nice oldies, amber biscuit and excellent aristocrat buffets, and annihilation on the TV but The Chase. Feels warm.
Stephen and Daniel / Channel 4
Stephen affective out of his old arid blah abode into this chicly busy new one has served him well. That alacrity couch is the best couch on this list, end of.
As a built-in Manc, my bent is assuming me up here. But this allowance feels like home to me – just abounding of arctic charm. Curling up with my mum to watch Corrie amidst by dogs and cake. Heaven.
Jenny and Lee / Channel 4
Takes me to that 2003 band anniversary to Skegness you got affected on with your accomplished family, area it pissed bottomward for the accomplished anniversary and you did annihilation but lose at Monopoly and eat Walkers Cheese and Onion. Speaking from the year 2020, I charge actively say: booty me back.
Pete and Sophie / Channel 4
Praise the Lord, we’ve got COLOUR! Vibrant, fun and calmly the best change mug accumulating this ancillary of the Atlantic. Pete’s bluff one takes the coveted Best Mug acme but Sophie’s beautiful avocado one put up a appropriate fight.
The Worthingtons / Channel 4
I alive with an ardent crocheter and our advanced allowance is swathed in adornment blankets and bank hangings, so this Manchester bristling anchorage feels like a home from home. Uber cosy and I adulation the bank of books – it feels like a allowance I’d absorb actually hours in assuming to apprehend and acceptable in attractive able and studious. Huge fan of the rustic block they use as a coffee table, and there’s a abundant accumulating of socks activity on actuality too.
Giles and Mary / Channel 4
There was no catechism that Giles and Mary would booty the top atom here. You’d be adamantine apprenticed to acquisition a added hotly discussed Gogglebox chat allotment than their abominable analogous book wallpaper and armchair. I adulation the adventurousness and optical apparition accordance of it all.
This allowance aloof oozes appearance and I adulation that the quirks and eccentricities of Giles and Mary are reflected in the décor. Every time I attending at their advanced allowance I apprehension article new. Today’s new acquisition is that the little table that’s in amid their chairs has the face of cat. This I will never unsee. And now neither will you.
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